Eventual Humor

Ten days of school left, and five students thought it was a great idea to smoke opium, on campus, right before first period. All five got caught and suspended for five days. At least one of them is a senior, one of my seniors. He has a D in my class and I don't know if he'll be able to graduate anymore, since he will be missing most of the in-class review for the final. Another is one of my sophomores. She has a 31 percent in my class. She has had a 31 percent in my class (plus or minus a couple, depending on whether it's a good week or a bad week) all semester. She has also had 29 EXCUSED absences and 26 unexscused absences. I think it can go without saying that all of my phone calls to her home have gone unanswered.

While researching my students' assertive discipline files (an awesome part of our grading/attendance program that lists when and why our students get detentions, Saturday Schools, suspensions, etc.) to see how many of my students were involved in the above incident, I noticed that 83 percent of my 6th period seniors received truancy letters last week; about half of these are THIRD truancy letters. The percentage was only slightly better for my 3rd period seniors.

I don't even know what to say about either of these findings. It's all been said before, by people far more eloquent than I.

However, I did come across this gem of an entry in one of my other sophomore's assertive discipline files:

"Detention: pantsing himself."